Maybe I'll win Mother of the Year after all...

Every parent screws up.  Even me.  It appears that I totally screwed up my children's eating habits.

Dinnertime has always been a family affair for us.  In actuality, we usually more or less all sit down to eat breakfast and lunch together too but not as consistently.  Dinner - unless one of us is out of town, we ALL sit down together to eat and discuss life's great topics...every night!  When B was a baby and toddler, she would eat ANYTHING.  Seriously.  Of course, her favorite foods were the usual kid-friendly favorites, but she would happily eat anything that we put in front of her except rice.  For whatever reason, the kid wouldn't touch rice with a 10-foot pole.  No problem.

Well time passed, and yes I'm going to give myself an excuse here...Chris travels a lot.  And it's really hard for me to force myself to cook a whole meal that I will eat - and the girls will nibble at.  So I got really, really lazy over the last year or so.  I got into the habit of cooking for them whatever they wanted (ie. hot dogs, pbj, mac & cheese) and making something equally delicious for myself.  Note to self:  this PROBABLY contributed to my need for weight watchers as well.

So now - we had reached a stage where the girls refused to eat anything that wasn't made of peanut butter or whatever hot dogs are made out of.  Oops.  I screwed up.  But keep reading...'cause I think I fixed it!  Hooray!

We tried lots of stuff...I tried pleading and crying...we tried threatening...we tried "2 more bites"-ing...tried "you just have to try a bite"...tried that thing where you just "put-it in-front-of-them-and-refuse-to-make-anything-else-and-"eventually"-they'll-get-hungry"...all it was doing was making dinnertime a MISERABLE affair.

Yup!  That's MY child eating steamed broccoli the size of her head!

And - we have a sense of humor around here...Daddy paid her for her efforts!  

Finally, I hit on the idea of getting B involved in the process.  The girls already love to bake and cook.  All I have to do is open a cupboard and they come running into the kitchen trailing aprons behind, chorusing "I'll help", pushing chairs ahead of them to reach the counter.  So on Sunday afternoon, B and I sit down with the cookbook and a piece of paper.  I start reading off the names of recipes (I do pick things to read that I think she might actually like...nothing too spicy, nothing too complicated...).  Every once in a while she'll ask "what's that one?" and I'll tell her what's in it.  I have her pick 3 or 4 recipes that sound good to her and I make my grocery list from that.  Then when we go to the grocery store, I let her help pick out ingredients as we go.  I ask, "should we buy a yellow onion or a white one?" and "which box of noodles looks better?" and tell her "walk over there and pick out a package of broccoli".  And I explain to her that we are buying this and that for Recipe A or Recipe B that she picked out.  I get her very involved.  When it comes time to MAKE dinner - in come the girls to don their aprons and wield their spatulas.  Of course, this whole process - choosing a weekly menu, buying groceries and prepping dinner - takes at least twice as long as it needs to, BUT...*drumroll please* Miracle upon Miracles...they EAT!  We've been going strong this way for about 3 weeks and with one exception (B thought the beef stroganoff looked like "mud" and she refused to eat it) the girls have been eating their dinner.  Turns out I might just pass the Mother Test after all!  Chalk one up for me!

B contemplates her broccoli (note that the chicken is already essentially gone!)

So you say you're a doula...

*WARNING - this is a REALLY long blog post, I promise they won't always be like this.  I just have so much to say on this topic and don't know how to shorten it up!  Forgive me!* 

I've been working on my doula certification for a little over a year and I am ALMOST there!  I was a little bit shocked to have my husband ask me this past week, "what exactly is it you do?  People ask me and I don't know what to tell them."  Huh - so apparently I haven't been doing a very good job of advocating for doulas if my own household doesn't understand a doula's worth! So here's your "Doula 101":

The would doula is a Greek word which means "a woman who serves."  Women have always come together to attend the births of the next generation.  It is only a recent phenomenon that the delivery room is made up of a doctor, a nurse, occasionally a husband/partner and the mother.  Throughout time, it has been the Aunties, the Grandmas, the Sisters and the wise women who passed down the wisdom of the ages to help women bring new life into the world.

Take a look at a fairly average American experience.  The mother checks herself into the hospital usually when she is around 3 cm dilated.  If you're talking solely based on averages/expectations at this point, that woman will be in the hospital for roughly another 7 hours before she begins to actively push that baby out.  And that's 'averages' and 'expectations'.  We all know lots of stories of women who labored for 24+ hours.  Over the course of that time, if she is utilizing the services of an MD and everything is going according to plan, she will see that MD a few brief times before it comes time to push.  She'll likely have an extraordinary nurse to tend to her needs but frequently that nurse will be tending to the needs of other mothers at the same time...and that nurse will go home and be replaced at the end of her shift.  She'll also hopefully have a compassionate, strong partner by her side but that partner, let's face it, will not have experienced what she is going through.  If she's very lucky she will also have a competent doula.  That doula will be by her side from the time she arrives at the hospital until after the baby is born.  She will not trade shifts with someone else, she will have no other mother to tend to and her entire focus will be on that particular mother, that particular father and that particular baby.

Doulas are not medically trained.  We are trained in the use of basic comfort measures and labor positions and we become quickly experienced in "reading" a woman in labor, guiding her support person(s) in the best ways to be there for her and, most importantly in my limited experience, in helping her find and maintain her labor rhythm.  Because we are not medically trained, we are not otherwise occupied with watching & maintaining the monitors, hooking up IV's, checking vitals, etc.  We are focused on the labor itself.  It's a wonderful thing.

To quote DONA (the organization who is certifying me) "Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier and they breastfeed more easily." 

This is how a typical experience with me as a doula starts.  If it's a private client, I meet with Mom & Dad sometime around 4 - 6 weeks prior to the due date to discuss the parents' birth plan.  If they have one.  If they don't have one, I encourage them to write one.  I listen to their previous birth stories if there are any.  I find out what their hopes and expectations are for the birth (ie. are they hoping for an nonmedicated birth, are they open to an epidural, etc.).  I find out what their fears are and I try to assuage them either with tidbits of my own knowledge or topics for research.  I also find out what typically calms and soothes the mother in cases of normal, everyday stress (ie. music, hot bath, massage, guided imagery, etc.).  I also give them my "Stacy as your doula speech" which goes a little like this, "I am there for you.  You are absolutely in charge.  It's your day and your time.  I will be by your side until you tell me to leave.  I will not be insulted or hurt by anything that you say or do.  You cannot offend me in that room.  My expectation is that you are brutally honest with me - 'I don't like that' 'Stop talking' 'that helps/doesn't help' all 'Minnesota-nice' needs to go out the window and you need to be 100% honest and forthcoming with your caregivers and with me."

I am then on-call 24 hours a day beginning 2 weeks prior to due date until 2 weeks post due date.  When Mom calls me, I assess with her over the phone where she's at and agree to meet her whenever / wherever she'd like.  Usually I meet up with Mom & Dad as they are checking into the hospital and the real fun starts.

Every woman needs the same basic things in my experience.  They all need to feel supported.  They all need to believe in themselves and in their bodies' ability to do what they are about to do.  They need to trust in their intuition.  They need to let go and trust their attendants to not judge them so that they are free and comfortable enough to relax into their labor.  A relaxed woman (yes - a woman CAN be relaxed while in labor...though my definition and your definition may not be precisely the same) has a much easier time with their labor in general.

Every woman also needs something very different.  Some women (myself, for example) need to be allowed to turn within themselves and focus intently on riding their waves of pain.  Some women need an outside stimulus - pressure on their forehead, pressure on their lower back, someone to sway with them... Some women need a lot of assistance in maintaining slow, even breathing and finding their own labor's rhythm.  Some women need nothing but your presence in the room.  I have spent time doing nothing but sitting quietly in the corner reading my book and making sure that the door always gets closed when someone comes/goes to maintain the quiet or doing nothing but hitting "play" everytime the relaxing CD comes to an end.

As a doula, I do not judge a woman's decisions.  I am not inside of her labor and while I know precisely what MY labors were like...I do NOT know what HER labor is like.  I work hard to trust her judgement and to support her decisions.  I do not advocate for a mother with the medical staff.  I do not communicate to the medical staff for the mother.  What I DO occasionally do is make certain that a mother knows that she has the right to ask questions and that she (except in cases of emergency) has the right to take a quiet moment alone to think through a major medical decision.

I know - I know - that all sounds very ethereal, lovey-dovey, gooshy...if you want to get down the nitty-gritty of it, this is what I really find myself doing as a doula:

I hold Mom's hand, I direct Dad's massage, I say "this is normal" at least a million times, I ice down wash cloths and put them on Mom's forehead, shoulders and wash her face.  I hold a basin or bag while Mom throws up and then assure her that, again, it's normal AND it happens to me all the time AND it's ok.  I help her to the toilet, I help her in and out of the tub.  I say, "in through your nose and out through your mouth" a hundred times.  I encourage Mom to make noise if it helps her - always low noises, never high.  I encourage her to rest between contractions as long as she can and then I encourage her to try different positions, move, shift.  I covertly direct the rhythm of her breathing, swaying, head-nodding, etc. by use of my own humming, breathing, hand stroking.  I close the door.  I ask her about her baby - baby's name, baby's nursery, hopes & dreams for baby down the road - to remind her that her pain has a purpose without saying those horrible words because WHO wants to have their pain minimized by being told "your pain has a purpose"?

I'm working on completing the certification process to be a DONA certified doula.  (Check out www.dona.org to find out more about the organization and detailed information about certification.)  Certification, in a nutshell, requires that I attend a 2 day long seminar that had my head spinning full of information.  Also requires that I attend a day long seminar on breastfeeding and a full-length childbirth class (Lamaze or Bradley).  Then I  must attend 3 births and, with mother's permission, document them thoroughly with evaluations.  There is a bunch of reading and some minor researching and paperwork to accomplish.  I have finally attended my 3rd birth (though I have actually attended 7 at this point - but, for various reasons, they won't all "count") and all I have left is my childbirth class and some paperwork.  And then.  I will finally be a certified doula.  I'm not sure this means much for me in terms of how it will change my work. I will probably continue to volunteer at Woodwinds, maintain my certification and take a private client or two a year.  I am hoping that once the girls are a little bit older, I might be able to turn this into a supplemental career and some extra income but the on-call lifestyle is really difficult with 2 little girls to care for and a husband who travels.

In the meantime, I feel very fulfilled when I feel like I've contributed to building beautiful birth stories for new Moms (or new again Moms).  I feel even more amazed when I can help a Mom enjoy (ok - that's a strong word) feeling all of her labor and delivery.  The look on a woman's face immediately after that last push is amazing!  While I won't be sharing specifics of any mom's birth stories online (that would just be totally rude), I do hope to blog more about my doula work in the future...I swear future posts will be more concise!  :)

Princesses VS robots? Or Princesses AND robots?

B loves robots.  Has loved robots for over half her life.  She has a stuffed robot that she sleeps with...she loves the movie "Short Circuit"...last year she chose a Transformer backpack for herself because robots are "so cool"...she and her daddy made a little cardboard robot together that really works!  Today B said something to me that made me genuinely sad.  She informed me that she likes Princesses but not robots because "Princesses are just so girly and robots are really just for boys". 

I am planning right now to dedicate several blog posts to this topic in an effort to straighten out my own thoughts on the topic, track some research and pay close attention to what the girls are up to these days.  "This", this "thing" that I am witnessing in my oldest daughter is something that I've feared since before my girls were born. 

How exactly DOES one raise a strong, independent, intelligent, thoughtful and caring young woman who is as comfortab

le with a child on her hip in the kitchen as she is, say driving a stick shift on her way to the paintball field?  I want my daughters to be so incredibly comfortable in their own skins that they choose their own fashion sense over someone else's, that they choose to eat healthy & exercise because it makes them physically feel good more than it makes them LOOK physically good.  I want them to choose their hobbies & passions based on their own preferences rather than society's.  I want them to enjoy science & math as much as they do literature and music. 

Myself?  I've never been into fashion, makeup, hairstyles, etc.  I've always had male friends that were as close to me (if not closer) as my female friends.  I've always enjoyed time outdoors, climbing trees, scaling rocks even if I wasn't very skilled at these pursuits.  I can't throw a ball accurately to save my soul but I once could sing, play the piano, the oboe and the flute...I don't think that these were separations thrust upon me so much as reactions to my own preferences and talents.  As an adult, I thoroughly enjoy and am proud of my skills on the firing range, enjoy the occasional paintball game and love to SCUBA dive (not to mention am VERY proud of the fact that I am a very good breather - can last a lot longer on one tank of air than most).  I also really enjoy cooking when I don't have someone hanging onto my leg and I love to sew.  My husband used to refer to me as his "Swiss-Army-Wife" and this has always made me warm with pride.  I feel that I have always made my own decisions about what I want to do.  I don't recall ever really feeling the sting of society's judgement.  I'm certain that it was there, but I legitimately believe that I just didn't care.  I'm not sure where this balance came from in me.  I don't know if it is just my temperament or if it was some sort of guidance from my parents?  I don't know how to pass this pure acceptance of themselves on to my daughters. 

Reason #1 that I won't be winning Mother of the Year...

So...the truth is - if you don't know me very well - I AM a little bit type-A.  And a little bit anal-retentive.  Less so - sigNIFICANTLY less so since I've had children...but it's still there.  So I am not a big fan of fingerpainting.   It's so...messy...and while I consciously, absolutely, positively CELEBRATE the messines...my subconscious is literally spasming with the thought of all of the chaos.  When B brought up the idea tonight...I think I actually threw up a little in my mouth...I mean really!??!  really?!?!  After the last 2 days?  My patience was supposed to tolerate FINGERPAINTING?  but, I'm proud to admit that I took a deep breath... got out the dreaded fingerpaints...and squirted it right into their hands.  And then I was just mortified.  While B dug right in...E looked at me like I'd grown a 3rd head. 

MY 2 YEAR OLD DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FINGERPAINT! 

THE HORROR!!!!!!

If I'm going to make an attempt at giving myself some credit here...B DOES know how to fingerpaint!  And, I'm very aware of my recent lack of focused attention with the girls (see aforementioned resolutions and/or attempts at change...)  When they were finished...they were, quite literally, covered from fingertip to elbow in paint (plus, inexplicably, some on E's eyebrow).  I had some on my sleeve and my forearm.  It was all over the table and the countertop.  It was all over the fingerpaint bottles.  All over E's highchair (yes - I KNOW she's 2 1/2 ... don't JUDGE!).  All over both the kitchen sink and the bathtub & shower walls.  PLUS a spot on the carpet from where B hit the deck on the way up the steps to the bathtub to wash.  Really?  it's no wonder that the stuff makes me cringe.  They had fun, we have some new artwork to grace the refrigerator now that all the Christmas cards have come down AND I feel like I fulfilled my obligation / desire to spend more focused time with my beauties!  All in all - Operation Fingerpaint was a SUCCESS!  *groan*

Healthy Mondays

So I think Mondays are going to be my healthy-goals-check-in-days.  My last stint with Weight Watchers always saw me weighing in on Mondays so it feels logical to me.  I did so very well shedding weight this past spring with Weight Watchers.  And my running goals have all been met and exceeded over the past year.  BUT.  Then my crazy, crazy summer happened.  I had one day off in the month of July - and each of those days either included 3 catered meals or meant that I was travelling = eating out/eating fast food.  So I fell off the diet wagon.  But I was still running fairly consistently (even while travelling, yeah me!) so i didn't actually gain more than a few pounds until right around Thanksgiving this year.  That is when the wheels fell off.  I ran the Turkey Day 5k and suddenly had no more runs on the calendar.  So why run, right?  Hmmm.  Apparently...running is what was keeping me svelte!  (HA!)  So I have gained a monumental amount of weight in the last 6 weeks.  It truly can't be healthy.  So here are, concisely, my healthy body goals as of right now:

• Jump back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon to return to my goal weight of 130.
• Return to exercising at least 3 times per week. 
• Water.  Water.  Water. 
• Diet Coke = Bad

To expound a bit ('cause lord knows, I AM verbose as a rule)...

• I love Weight Watchers.  Well, I hate Weight Watchers, of course.  It isn't "right" to LOVE Weight Watchers.  But I do love it.  sorta.  I believe that it is the best "diet" on the market right now.  It doesn't contain any supplements or crazy powders or anything.  It doesn't tell you that you can't eat this or that.  I can't imagine sticking to a gluten-free diet or anything like that.  It lets me eat whatever I want but holds me accountable for what I eat.  It teaches me to place a very real value on eating the "right" foods - ie. vegetables and proteins over carbs and cakes.  It doesn't cost a small fortune.  It doesn't necessitate that I continue to buy 'their food' until the end of days to keep the weight off.  It seems like the healthiest option by far. AND - BONUS - I know it works for me.  I am a Lifetime member, after all!  (yes - you are reading the sin of pride in that statement).  I reached and maintained my 130 pound goal weight for 6+ weeks back before the girls were born.  Can't wait to get there again!  And - I was almost there this past spring when everything went horribly wrong.  So - as of today - I'm BACK WW! 
• I love races.  I hate the expense of races.  But I love races.  I love the comradery of it.  Love the excitement of it.  Love the challenge of it.  Love the fact that it forces me to keep running on a regular basis.  So - much as we probably can't afford it, I'm going to go back to signing up for some races.  The first one will likely be the Valentine's Day 5k if I can convince SOMEONE (see that, sic?) to run it with me again this year - I totally embarassed myself "running" it last year - this year will be better!  So - back to running the track at the ymca.  Though I'm considering trying some swimming once a week or so to change things up because that track gets mighty dull after the 30th lap or so. Chris bought me a waterproof case and headset for my ipod so I'll give it a shot.  Plus - BONUS - swimming IS a full-body workout, after all. 

• I don't like water.  What's to like?  It is SO boring.  I only can tolerate it if I've been running (then it's delicious!) or if it's ICE cold!  So this is going to be a tough one for me.  I'm dedicating my BIG BLUE pitcher to my water drinking goals.  I'll fill it with filtered water every morning and empty it by bedtime.  I WILL!
• Diet Coke is delicious.  I am also addicted.  Full-on addicted.  Until I have my daily dose, my body feels sluggish, achy...downright hungover.  Mere moments after that first sip, I'm clearer, physically feel better, significantly less cranky...and it frightens me.  It is 100% ridiculous that the way that I feel and the way that I react to my children is so dependent on a cup of stuff that is bad for me to begin with.  So - at least for now - I'm giving it up cold turkey.  I gave it up while I was pregnant, I can do it again.  I'll just suffer for a bit, I'm sure...and so will the girls unfortunately.  But - it'll be better!  I swear! 

So that's in for now.  In a nutshell. 

And my check-in for today - 147.6 pounds per my home scale.  And this is what I look like right now.  This is an honest photo.  I did not suck anything in...didn't push anything out.  This is just me.  It ain't pretty but it's true and it will get better quickly.

New Year's Eve 2011

It's New Year's Eve.  The girls are at "Andma" and "Ampa's" house for the night and Chris and I are having some friends over to "play".  I planned too much food as usual but I planned it all to be warmed in crockpots so ALL the work is done!  :)  Smart me, for once! 

Target Practice = Couple Bonding time!
The day is so laid-back that even with people coming over, Chris and I found some time this afternoon to visit the shooting range.  I don't think I've done that since before B was born --- so roughly 5+ years!  all in all - I did pretty well, I think!  I shot my .22 handgun and Chris' .45 and .40.  I hate the .40.  It kicks like a mofo and the grip is just too big for my little hand but I absolutely love my .22.  It is totally a blast to shoot.  Considering how long it's been since I've shot ANYTHING - I was pretty pleased with my accuracy.  I'm no pro, but I did alright.  *catty alert!* way better than the pink clad vision that was shooting next to me who could barely hit the paper! 

I really enjoy target practice.  Always have.  When we were kids, we had a little .22 that we used to take to the lake.  Back in the day, our end of the lake was remarkably quiet and empty - especially in the spring and fall.  We would set up soda can pyramids and take turns laying down in the grass to knock them over.  I have such a specific and vivid recollection of putting that little bullet right through the center of the "O" in Mountain Dew.  It was sheer joy to have something that I was arguably as good at as my brother that we could do together. 

These days, I enjoy target practice for much the same reason - it's a rare something that my husband and I can do together that, again, I can arguably keep up with him in the inherent talent category.  I like that it makes me feel really well-rounded - it isn't something that I think most people would expect of me.  And I really like the swagger that I feel afterwards!  I'm not above that!

"Resolutions"
I fight the idea of "resolutions" and yet I have so many.  I'm looking for this blog, among other things, to be a way for me to create some sort of accountability for my current goals.  So - here are a few, in no particular order:

• Last year, I set a goal of Chris & I having one date night per month with each of us taking a turn planning the date.  We did OK at this though we weren't 100% consistent.  I think that this is utterly, completely crucial to us continuing to build a better and better relationship and I'm determined to maintain this as an ongoing goal!
• Keep Running!  I still can't believe that I'm running at all much less that I'm enjoying it as much as I am!  I am really excited about running another Ragnar this year and I have made the Fargo Half-Marathon my distance goal for the year.  I'm not quite ready to train for a full marathon at this point.  I just can't see myself making the time for the training commitment.
• Cook and eat at home MUCH more often!  I'm guilty of really, really enjoying paying someone else to bring me food!  But it is very, very expensive and since we generally live our lives paycheck to paycheck - it really isn't very smart!  And I do actually love cooking most of the time so if I just wrap my head around it, this should be easy.  We will still eat out now and again - but I am making it a mission that these are "special occasions" and they will be savored!
• Drink more water and less diet coke.  I am really very unhappy with the way that my body feels when I don't have a diet coke every day.  It's really frightening and very sad.  I will admit to being a diet coke addict and this does NOT make me happy.  I certainly do not like being dependent on something so ridiculous.  Gonna fix it! 
• Sew more.  I'm not sure what direction this is going to take.  I made the girls' Halloween costumes this past year and loved the way it felt to have them parading around in (if I do say so myself) gorgeous costumes that I made.  But in our little house - if I'm going to sew - i pretty much have to haul everything out...sew...and then stash it all back.  It's a royal pain in the ass, frankly.  So I need to think about revamping the table full of crap in our bedroom that was intended as my sewing space.  I have a quilt for my nephew to finish (poor kid will be 3 soon and it started as a baby quilt).  I have a bazillion burp cloths cut out and ready to put together that I want to start using as doula gifts.  And - I have B.E.Inspired that I really, really want to do something with (I will dedicate a post to this soon)
• Finish my doula certification.  I'm shocked at how long it is taking to get my certification out of the way.  I really and truly thought that I would be done with all the paperwork at this point and I'm still incredibly far away from the finish line.  I WILL FINISH! 
• Spend more planned, focused time with the girls.  I don't know exactly what this means - but I want to be more deliberate about the time that I spend with them.  not always - but at least several times a week if not once a day.  This may mean sitting down and really focusing on playing a game with them.  It may mean putting together a legitimate craft for us to do together.  It may mean baking together (which they love). 
• And last, but not least, EVERYONE's goal at this time of year - to lose some more weight.  Back on Weight Watchers I go - and I'm going to be really honest about my weight here - why hide it?  I have no pride left and it will help keep me on target to have people knowing precisely where I'm at! 

I think that's it for now.  It's kind of a daunting list but it encompasses things that are important to me:  My kids, my husband, my physical health, my financial health and my mental health.

An explanation for a blog...

So I've been thinking about blogging.  And I keep asking myself "why"?  It seems like the cool thing to do right now.  I have friends that are doing it, I've picked up on a few "professional" bloggers out there - and I really enjoy reading them.  And I think that's specifically why I have hesitated to start.  I've never been one to purposely follow a trend...I proudly purchased my jeans from Fleet Farm when I was in junior high / high school for goodness' sakes because I did NOT understand the idea of spending $50 for a pair of pants...never mind purposely tearing holes in them, pinning or rolling the ankles...nope - not a trend follower.  That being said, I also have never been a real trail blazer either...but I do enjoy writing from time to time.  That is, I enjoy writing as long as no one is going to correct my grammar or my punctuation.  And while I've often attempted to start keeping a journal, I have NEVER been successful. 

So I think I'll give this blog thing an experimental "try" --- because:

• I enjoy casual, stream-of-consciousness writing. 
• I already feel like little tidbits of my daughters' childhood that seem so important at the time are being lost to history and I'd love to have a better record for them and for myself.
• With Chris travelling as much as he does, I often find myself all alone with the girls for weeks at a time and it gets lonesome to not have someone to immediately share things with...maybe I can plug a little bit of that hole by writing it down?
• I have a multitude of hobbies and interests that could use research, tracking, sharing...a blog might help me to remain "on task" with some of my goals. 
• I feel a bit like a voyeur reading other peoples' blogs and feel like it might  be time for me "give back" by allowing some people into my head for a bit as well. 

I think that's enough reasons for now, am I right?  All that being said, I do not promise to keep this up for long.  As you can see - I tried this little experiment for a different reason over a year ago with very short-term results.  But - I am going to give it a shot.