My Fortieth Year...

This morning began with two little girls climbing into my bed with giggles and presents.  They were followed swiftly by two purring furballs who had been trying to gain access to the room for much of the night.

And I thought to myself - "goodness, life is good!"

I was served breakfast by a woman in a hairnet wearing plastic gloves, handing me a paper plate full of waffle at the school's annual waffle breakfast.

And I thought to myself, "goodness, life is good!"

A beautiful sentiment on my facebook wall from a good friend.
A fantastic video from a good friend and her kids.
Texts from my family.
And a new friend/colleague begging me to leave the house, find something fun to eat,imploring me to find an adventure.

Goodness!  Life is good!

Today, I woke up to greet the beginning of my fortieth year!  Saying it that way to myself for the first time yesterday jumpstarted a whole different thing in my head and my heart and now I'm sitting here all reflective.  If I'm being honest, I've been being reflective an awful lot lately.  Perfectly natural and normal with my current status in life, right?  So let's start there.  What IS my current status in life?  I'm currently standing stock-still in the middle of a swiftly moving, cold stream.  Still.  Waiting.  For something.  I've made so many dramatic changes in the last year.  Hard changes.  Good changes.  And now I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen.  I've been waiting for the voices in my head to slow their harsh words.  I've been waiting for my head to clear, for my focus to return.  I've been waiting for the return of my ambition, the start of the work that it will take to meet the goals that I have for my physical body this year.  I've been waiting for checks to clear and taxes to get paid and groceries to get bought.

So maybe today, on my 39th Birthday, I will take steps forward and stop waiting.  I'll spend an hour with my trainer reminding my body what it's like to take a healthy beating.  I'll get a little bit of work done and I'll wash towels, yes but I'll leave the house and put my face in the sunshine too.  The girls and I will do something nice for a stranger.  Maybe I'll even step out of my comfort zone and caucus.

Life is good.  And the next year will be filled with beauty and bravery and adventure!  But it'll be that much more amazing if I walk out to meet it!