B loves robots. Has loved robots for over half her life. She has a stuffed robot that she sleeps with...she loves the movie "Short Circuit"...last year she chose a Transformer backpack for herself because robots are "so cool"...she and her daddy made a little cardboard robot together that really works! Today B said something to me that made me genuinely sad. She informed me that she likes Princesses but not robots because "Princesses are just so girly and robots are really just for boys".
I am planning right now to dedicate several blog posts to this topic in an effort to straighten out my own thoughts on the topic, track some research and pay close attention to what the girls are up to these days. "This", this "thing" that I am witnessing in my oldest daughter is something that I've feared since before my girls were born.
How exactly DOES one raise a strong, independent, intelligent, thoughtful and caring young woman who is as comfortab
le with a child on her hip in the kitchen as she is, say driving a stick shift on her way to the paintball field? I want my daughters to be so incredibly comfortable in their own skins that they choose their own fashion sense over someone else's, that they choose to eat healthy & exercise because it makes them physically feel good more than it makes them LOOK physically good. I want them to choose their hobbies & passions based on their own preferences rather than society's. I want them to enjoy science & math as much as they do literature and music.
Myself? I've never been into fashion, makeup, hairstyles, etc. I've always had male friends that were as close to me (if not closer) as my female friends. I've always enjoyed time outdoors, climbing trees, scaling rocks even if I wasn't very skilled at these pursuits. I can't throw a ball accurately to save my soul but I once could sing, play the piano, the oboe and the flute...I don't think that these were separations thrust upon me so much as reactions to my own preferences and talents. As an adult, I thoroughly enjoy and am proud of my skills on the firing range, enjoy the occasional paintball game and love to SCUBA dive (not to mention am VERY proud of the fact that I am a very good breather - can last a lot longer on one tank of air than most). I also really enjoy cooking when I don't have someone hanging onto my leg and I love to sew. My husband used to refer to me as his "Swiss-Army-Wife" and this has always made me warm with pride. I feel that I have always made my own decisions about what I want to do. I don't recall ever really feeling the sting of society's judgement. I'm certain that it was there, but I legitimately believe that I just didn't care. I'm not sure where this balance came from in me. I don't know if it is just my temperament or if it was some sort of guidance from my parents? I don't know how to pass this pure acceptance of themselves on to my daughters.
