Five Minute Friday: See

So I have several favorite blogs...one of them is: intendtolive.com and through THAT blog, I discovered thegypsymama.com .  The Gypsy Mama does this great thing where she challenges fellow bloggers to write for 5 minutes straight with no editing, no backtracking, no overthinking every Friday on a specific topic.  I decided to give it a shot today.  By the length of this post, I'm realizing how much time I must spend writing the OTHER posts that I write...'cause this is ridiculously short for the usually overly-verbose me!  
(I haven't taken enough time to figure out formatting and linking and things the "proper" way with blogger...I'll figure out eventually how to utilize the gypsy mama's official "5 minute friday" thumbnail, link back to her, give her proper credit, etc....for now...my apologies!)

The topic for today:  "SEE"...and GO!

I see the word "see" and for some reason it conjures up guilt and pain for me.  Not sure how or why that happens.
I see the word "see" and I think of my daughters...I think of how far too often, I don't think that I really, REALLY "see" them.  I look at them...I shuffle them from place to place...I feed and clothe and bathe them...I play with them and push them on the swings.  Of course I do.  But I'm not sure that I really take the time to SEE them as often as I should.  Sometimes, in the morning, when they have slept long enough, the day is new and unblemished and full of promise and they climb into bed with me --- their hair tousled, their little bodies warm and soft from their blankets "good morning mama" on their lips --- then I "see" them.  We "see" each other and it's a beautiful thing.
And me?  What I wouldn't give to be "seen" myself.  I think it's true of everyone, I'm certainly not alone, that we stumble through this life with secrets in our hearts, damage in our minds, dreams in our pockets that no one really sees.

I can say with honesty that I have been thinking about "seeing" people quite a bit for the last couple of months.  And I've been making a valiant effort to really and truly see some of the important people in my life.  I hope that, even though they probably don't consciously realize it, that it gives them the joy and confidence that they deserve.

The End.  

I think I'm a runner...

I’ve never been an athletic person – never been a very physically active person.  I am a klutz…uncoordinated…completely NOT graceful in any way.  I tried to dance as a pre-teen…I was miserable at it.  I tried to skate before that…HA!  Lots of bruises there.  I was always picked last for everything in gym class…I was small, untalented and didn’t give a rat’s ass.  It most certainly did not define me.  My family likes to tease me because my Dad struggled SO HARD to teach me how to ride a bike as a kid.  Hours.  And Hours.  And Hours.  We pretty much stopped going for family bike rides the day that I drove my bicycle full-on into a brick wall because I couldn’t coordinate myself well enough to hit the brakes in time.  Seriously – klutzy!  (I still can’t ride a bike…it’s ridiculous!)  Starting around the age of 15, I started using my “bad knee” as an excuse – and it was true – my right side has always given me a hard time.  I learned about 8 years ago that I do in fact have arthritis on my right side so it wasn’t bunk…but I did play it up to compensate for my ridiculous desire to avoid all physical activity.  In retrospect, it’s a miracle I never weighed 250 pounds.  I got myself a knee brace and ran a little bit in college because I had a controlling boyfriend who counted my calories for me and made certain that I worked out every day.  When we broke up – I quit running because it represented to me the abuse that I had suffered under his control. 

I still can’t believe that I’ve become a runner.  I chuckle a little bit inside just to write those words.  Me?  A runner?  I’m not a runner…I run, but I’m not a “runner”.  I don’t really know why I started – but it might be the smartest and best thing that I’ve ever done for myself.  I’ve been running for almost 2 years now and it’s essentially changed my life. 

Two years ago, my sister-in-law (who has always been a successful, avid runner) sent me a pair of good sneakers for my birthday.  I’m not really sure what possessed her except that she works in a running store and probably had NO clue what to send me.  6 months later, I strapped them on for the first time and started running the “Couch to 5k” program.  I ran my first 5k on a day when the temperature was literally -9 degrees at race time…and I was hooked. 

It physically feels good finally which I think is a combination of a lot of factors – just plain ‘ole training and getting my body accustomed to the exertion but also – definitely losing enough weight that I’m not ‘abusing’ my body by forcing it to carry around more than it should.  The first two miles used to always be painful (even when I was running 10 miles with relative ease) and the rest was always more or less numb.  Now – the whole thing just feels good.  I can feel my blood pumping strong and healthy.  My lungs feel like they are smiling.  My legs feel strong.  I feel strong.  I feel like a strong, beautiful goddess when I run.  I’m certain I don’t LOOK that way – let’s face it, I look red-faced and sweaty…but in my mind, I look amazing! 

Over the course of just the last couple of months, it’s become an almost spiritual thing to boot.  I’ve always listened to podcasts in the past because if I listened to music, I couldn’t get into my head and I would just count laps or wonder how fast I was going or how much longer I had to go.  I haven’t listened to a podcast in weeks…the one time I tried, I realized that it had been running for 10 minutes and I hadn’t heard a single word.  I think about my girls – what kind of women I want them to be – and how I’m going to teach them to be those women.  I think about my career and where I want it to go and how I’m going to get there.  I think about the soul, the universe, the plants, animals, gods and goddesses that fill our sails and our bodies and our minds.  I think about my marriage and my husband.  I think a lot lately about myself – which sounds narcissistic, I know…but in my case, for right now, is healthy.  And, especially if the sun is shining…I arrive back at my doorstep feeling energized, positive, rejuvenated and strong. 

I used to need a race on the horizon to keep myself running at least 3 times per week.  Now I need a 20 hour work day to even consider skipping my run.  I think I’m a runner.    

Livin' the Dream...Act 3 - dotting the I's

And so we come more-or-less to my present day paying career.  It was January of 2007 when the call came that I would be losing my job.  I was an utter disaster for a whole day.  I remember clearly the phone call that I made to my wonderful Mother.  I was crying, yes, but with great effort, I was holding back that big, ugly, hiccoughing cry.  I can probably blame a tiny bit of the hysteria on pregnant hormones but really?  I was just really, really sad.  I told Mom what had happened and she immediately started trying to cheer me up which is usually precisely my reaction to a bad situation..."look at the bright side"..."think what might be waiting just around the corner"...I remember getting a little angry and telling her, "this is great Mom.  Can we have THIS conversation tomorrow?  TODAY, I get to be upset!"
I began the process of ushering myself out of Live Nation's life.  The box office manager in Chicago had just quit so I was helping to cover some holes there...while trying to find a replacement for myself.  I rewrote the job description, posted the ads, read through the resumes...it was a little odd to try to replace myself in this way.  In the end, it took a remarkably long time to make myself disappear. I worked until May 1 and Live Nation quietly let me go with a surprising amount of grace and tact (thanks entirely to my boss, of course).  The other thing I remember fairly vividly was my 'last' conversation with my boss on that last day of employment.  I remember running down the list of things that I had accomplished and the things that someone still would need to finish up...telling him what I had packed into a box and would be shipping to Chicago...and then I remember saying, "you know - since I'm the only one in the Twin Cities, I've been doing a lot of random little things that you probably aren't even aware of.  When you recognize what it is that you still need help with, you let me know."  I also remember the silence at the other end of the line and the quiet, "huh". I don't recall for certain, but I believe I was producing my first show by the end of May.
My current job is difficult to explain to people.  My usual answer is, "I'm a go-between between the tour's management and the venue" and people nod knowingly.  Here's what it more or less looks like:

One of the best pieces of merch I've seen -
this was a tote bag for Tim Minchin
(love him, btw)

A talent buyer in Chicago books a show.  My boss keeps a master calendar of all of the shows that come out of the Chicago office.  He assigns me to that show.  I have access to a master, internet-based Live Nation proprietary program that contains all of the budgets for all of the shows.  Generally speaking, shows are booked roughly 6 weeks 'out'.  Once I am assigned a show, I go searching for that budget and for contact information for the tour.  Usually about 3-4 weeks prior to the show, I reach out to the tour manager and production manager (assuming that I've been able to figure out who they are).  I send them an email introducing myself and attaching a "tech pack" for whatever venue we are in.  A tech pack includes important information like how many seats are in the building, how high is the rigging grid from the floor, how much power is available and where is it located, how many loading docks are there and how far will the stagehands have to push the gear, (plus a whole lot more).  I usually also try to attach backstage drawings showing all of the dressing rooms, locker rooms and offices as well as some sort of parking map.  If everything goes as it should, I hear back from the production manager and he will send me the show rider and often rigging diagrams.  If he's REALLY organized, he also sends me a "one sheet" that outlines all of the basics and essentially boils down all of the information in the rider to a page or two of bullet points.

Once I have this information, I read through it and try to assess what  my follow-up questions/concerns are as well as what items I'll need to arrange locally.  Generally, these things fall into some basic areas/categories:

• Stagehands need to be hired.  I look through the tour's needs and (with the venue's help because every venue's IATSE contract is a teeny bit different making it impossible to keep it all straight in my head) I try to assess if there are any changes that should be made.  For example, Xcel Energy Center has a really "long pull" for the riggers.  the rigging grid is much further from the floor than it is in the average building, so we will usually add at least one team of riggers to the call.  
• Runners usually need to be booked. I have a team of really stellar runners in the Minneapolis market...this is one area where I am very lucky.  I have a great working relationship with them, I trust them and I enjoy them.  I book them myself based on the tour's needs.  
• Frequently we need to rent 15 passenger vans to transport large numbers of crew to/from hotels, etc. so I make those arrangements
• Occasionally I need to hire some supplemental equipment locally - ie, recently I had Brian Regan at the Orpheum Theater and the decision was made to add video to the production since it is a larger theater and a lot of his comedy lies in his facial expressions.  I arranged for the camera, projector and screen for the show as well as a crew to run it.
• Catering...there is always catering in some form.  Sometimes the tour travels with a caterer and we will need to arrange for local assistants for them (people to wash dishes and/or help them with local grocery shopping).  Sometimes we need to arrange the catering using a local caterer...we wind up feeding a lot of people.  On a standard arena show, we're usually feeding 100-150 people for each meal.  

Speaking very generally, all I'm really doing is forwarding emails to appropriate people and keeping my eye on the details so that A) nothing slips through the cracks and B) Live Nation's budget is being kept in mind.  

THIS is what holds that heavy show
above the stage - this show was "pre-rigged"
the day before the tour showed up (it's rare)

Day of show, I arrive at the venue roughly half an hour before load-in starts.  Load-in for a standard arena show is usually 7 or 8 am.  I try to get my desk set up (I carry my entire 'office' in a backpack) so that I'm ready for the day, check in with the caterers, check in with the union steward and check in with the "building guy" (by the way - I am also blessed with really amazing "building guys" at almost every venue that I work in...most of them have become friends!).  I make sure that I have a current audit (this is the report that tells us how many tickets are sold, how many are open and available for sale and how many are being held back from the public for one reason or another) as well as a current "sold map" (this is a seating chart of the venue that has been colored in to show where the empty seats are and where the "killed" seats are).  This sold map is looked at closely by myself, the building guy and usually the production manager before any real work begins.  We take a look at how much of the building the audio guys are going to have to cover with speakers and where we have seats killed to accommodate spotlights, cameras, etc.  We also are usually holding some seats very close to the stage to ensure that a patron will be able to see the performers from those particular seats due to speaker clusters, etc.  Assuming that the show has sold very well, we make every effort to start releasing these various kills for sale to the public as soon as we know what our real needs are.

When the touring personnel show up varies greatly depending on whether they bussed in overnight and are sleeping "soundly" in bunks in the parking lot or they had a day off in town the day before and are stumbling in from a local hotel...usually we see those first touring people shortly before load-in and the day begins.  I split my time during those first few hours between the production folks who are starting to unload trucks and push cases into place and those who are trying to set up dressing rooms - rearrange furniture and office paraphernalia...I generally am wearing two radios - one on each hip - one attached to the tour and one attached to the building plus my cell phone and my blackberry for email.  I'm VERY "connected".

I spend the day putting out fires -

from the tour:
"I need another 6' table"
"Can we get black linens for all the dressing room hospitality tables?"
"Can we use the building's laundry facilities?"
"send me the building electrician"
"Is there shore power for these busses?"
"does the venue have a workout facility that we can use?"
"I need your pass list"
"my kid loves the Timberwolves/Wild, can I get a jersey?"

and from the building:
"we have a gift for the artist and would like a picture for 'the trades'"
"what is the camera/gift policy?"
"what time can we set the floor?"

The show goes up - the artists arrive - soundchecks happen - and an hour before showtime, the production manager, the venue production manager and myself meet on the floor to assess the show's readiness.  We make sure ushers are in place, gear is safely stowed, lights are at "walk-in look", music is playing - and we make the call to open the house to patrons.

A 45,000 person sing-along!  DMB at Wrigley Field 2 summers ago

The show plays - people applaud - I wolf down some dinner and try to make it onto the floor to watch a song.  I try to make it a policy to always make it into the house to see one song.  You'd be shocked how often that doesn't actually happen because now I have to do math.  Now, personally, I think that this is by far, one of the most unfair things imaginable.  Usually, I've put in a 15-16 hour day of (sometimes literally) running around and then I sit down and do math.  Because the office that I technically work for is in Chicago, and I'm the only representative that they have in this area, I am usually the only person onsite from our company.  So I get to both produce and settle the show.  So while the show is going on and people are dancing and drinking and carrying on...I am sitting in a little concrete room with fluorescent lighting, bass pounding through the walls frantically trying to gather ALL the bills from the day (catering, ground transportation, stagehands, runners, rental vans, gases, furniture rental, hospitality, the list goes on and on...) and create essentially a balance statement for the day so that I can pay all those bills AND pay the artist.  There are taxes to be paid and music royalties...And - to add further pressure to the situation - I have to settle twice. Once with the venue.  Once with the artist.  The venue has to come first because their bills weigh heavily on the artist's settlement.  And usually the tour accountant has to have his entire desk packed into a road case and ready to be loaded onto a truck roughly 30 minutes before the show ends. So there is definitely pressure to GET IT DONE NOW!  It sucks.  And sometimes it's very stressful.

When the show ends, sometimes I need to be onhand to assist with meet & greets and autograph sessions but usually if these are happening, the tour carries someone who handles these things and my only responsibility is to help them find a place and/or set it up earlier in the day.  So - usually I walk out of my office and make sure that the show has started coming down successfully - make sure all our stagehands showed up for "the out".  Oftentimes, I'll go out on the floor and help break down chairs because a lot of that equipment can't come down and get out until those chairs on the floor are GONE.  Some venues are better about this process than others, to be sure!  It's usually 10:30 or 11:00 at night at this point.  Once I'm sure that things are rolling nicely, I usually try to go back to my desk and dot the 'i's and cross the 't's on the paperwork - I start scanning the whole freaking pile so that I can email it immediately to the real accountants in Chicago and prep it all to be UPS'ed the next morning.  The faster I can get it off my desk...the better!  It usually will take 2-3 hours to get a show back on the road.  These hours are always long.  The nice part about this time, is other than keeping my eyes open for emergencies, my work is essentially done so I usually get to just sit and BS with whoever is still around - the venue guy for sure, the runners, or I get to sit down and blog!  :)

When the whole show is down and the last truck is pulling out of the building, there is generally a dozen very dirty, very sweaty, very nasty roadies (sorry guys but sometimes it's true) who can't wait to have a drink and then roll into their bunks for the night.  But - first - they shower.  Sometimes it can really wrinkle a girl's heart when the building is essentially empty and quiet and I find myself sitting in a hallway waiting for a bunch of dudes to shower at 1 am.  But I do.  Because the single worst part of my night is still to come.

Technically - towel shagging is NOT part of my duties as a promoter rep / production manager.  But have I mentioned that my husband and I also rent towels?  I realized a remarkably short time ago just how much money tours pay to rent towels for every show.  I know.  It doesn't make sense, does it?  But think about it - these people literally live on a bus.  And they shower nearly every day in a locker room.  Picture what that bus would look and smell like if after every shower, every person hauled a wet, molding towel onto that bus with them.  So they rent towels.  From me.  In the morning, for nearly every local show, I haul in dozens upon dozens of towels.  I really should sit down and figure it out one day, but I'd guess I rent an average of 12 dozen towels for each local show.  I drop them off in the production office in the morning and I pick them up at the end of every night.  And let me tell you.  It ain't pretty.  I find towels under couches, next to urinals, literally in a sopping heap covering shower drains...full of makeup, wrapped around dirty underwear (?)...you'd be AMAZED at how many people get their haircut (apparently) in dressing rooms and catch all the hair in my towels.  Did you see Lady Gaga's last tour?  With the fountain of blood?  Yeah - my towels wiped off all that blood and even though I knew it to be stage blood - I was SHOCKED that it all came out!   So after a really, REALLY long day - I wait around until every last person (except "the building guy") has left the building and then I shag towels...haul them home...and immediately start laundry!

That is more or less my job in a nutshell.  There are definite high points and definite low points.  I count my blessings that I've been able to work on some of the amazing projects that I've been able to work on over the last couple of years (U2 at TCF Stadium and at Soldier Field for recent example) and I work with the most wonderful people (and some real jacka$$es too to be sure).  I absolutely, positively love my job and sincerely hope that I get to keep it until I'm old and gray.

Not only did I get to work on U2 last summer (twice - once as a "lead"),
my husband got to work WITH me.  How cool is THAT?
(and yes - it POURED!)

Healthy Mondays - "Game On" update...Round 3

I have a complicated faith (don't worry - this isn't a religious post - not brave enough to tread that path just yet).  It includes some traditional, Western beliefs...but also includes a lot of very old, very holistic beliefs.  This planet and all that exists on it is the biggest miracle to me.  I believe that we are healthiest and strongest when we are taking advantage of the gifts that are available to us naturally every day and resort to Western medicine in cases of emergency.  Lest you think I've gone off the deep end - I owe the lives of two very important people in my life to advances in Western, Cancer fighting medicine, so I DO recognize the value that can be found in surgeries, pills and injections!  But I think that our general health can be greatly improved by a holistic, every day approach to taking care of ourselves.

Case in point - I've written about the "Game On" challenge...it has done some really amazing things for me.  For example:

• I am regularly drinking 100 oz of water per day
• I am rarely drinking alcohol
• I have cut soda out of my diet
• I have rarely consumed refined sugar in 2012
• I am naturally focusing on consumption of proteins and raw fruits & vegetables
• I am exercising 20 - 60 minutes per day.  6 days per week

And yes - I definitely started this challenge looking to give my weight loss a jump start.  But I'm sticking with the challenge (I'm in the 3rd month at this point) because I love how great I feel overall!  I honestly believe that at the ripe old age of 35, I'm in nearly the best shape of my life.

Here's the numbers for you...

We are 4 weeks into a 6 week round of "Game On".  This is my third round (we took one week off between round 1 & 2 and the first two rounds were 4 weeks each) so I've been living this healthy lifestyle for 13 weeks!  In that time, I have dropped from a Size 10 jean to a very comfortable size 6.  I have returned to a point where the 7.5 mile run that I did on Friday felt AWESOME and not AWFUL!  I am at a weight that I honestly haven't seen since before I spent a semester in Greece in college and ate way too much baklava.  And - I spent 3 days working with a big bunch of guys who were all flirting with me the whole time, so I MUST be looking better because I can't remember the last time that I turned anyone's head besides my husband's.  My weight when I started was 147.6 and yesterday I was down to 126.6 - 21 pounds lost and I am within a "healthy weight" category.  This is 4 pounds below what I thought was going to be my goal weight because I NEVER thought I'd see 125 again!  WOW!

Since I've cut soda out of my diet, I drink a LOT of water.  Which gets really old after a while.  So - I've started to drink quite a bit of tea.  Usually I go quick and easy with a tea bag but I'm also dabbling in loose leaf, "medicinal" teas as well (this brings this post back around to the holistic health that I talked about up top).  More on this fabulous topic soon!
Here's the pics:

wow - me at the start of "Round 1" - 147.6 pounds

Me today!  126.6 pounds

and showing off the Size 10 jeans...

Choose your own adventure...

Do you ever stop to think about the decisions and choices that you make every day?  I know I rarely put too much thought into them as they come up but for some reason I've become very introspective lately about my life's path overall.  

If I had ever practiced my oboe, could I be a virtuoso today? 

If I hadn't gone to Concordia, would I have had the opportunity to travel Europe and live in Greece?  These are opportunities that shaped who I am today.  

If I hadn't made various good and bad decisions in my relationships - what would my friendships look like today?  

If I hadn't worked at Theatre L'Homme Dieu in the summer of 1997 would I be married to an IT guy today instead of a lighting guy?

This photo is 2 years old already...but I like it!
We enjoy each other as much as we did 15 years ago when we met!

Is there a decision-path that would have led me to marry the man who coaches Little League in my hometown? 

How about a decision-path that would have led me to the man I met this past week who dabbles in real estate and martial arts and loves pitbulls?  

What kind of car am I driving?  What kind of career do I have?  Where do I live in the alternate universe of this life?  

Some things are obvious - I have few natural physical talents so I was never destined for the WNBA or the Olympic swim team.  But I've always loved music and I believe I have a tiny bit of inherent talent - maybe if I'd cultivated it I'd still be performing today?  It's a little overwhelming now that I've stopped to really think about it.  Makes me start to look for significance in everyday decisions that probably actually hold very little significance.  Also makes me shiver a bit when I think about the beauty that is in my life today and the fact that there are so many decisions that have led me to this exact time and place.  

While I don't mind picturing my life in a bigger house, with less debt or more vacations - I don't like the idea that my daughters might not exist, my husband might not be my husband or I wouldn't have been able to experience some of the crazy, amazing things that I have.  

I'll continue to let my mind drift and picture alternatives - it's fun to daydream but at the end of the day, it's important to recognize that I have a beautiful life to treasure.  

Not every Mama gets to introduce her kids to the Wiggles!

The Activity Jar...

I mentioned on Facebook the other day that we had chosen our activities for the day using our Activity Jar and I got quite a reaction from everyone wanting to know more about this mysterious tool.  I'm here to tell you - it is fabulous and brilliant and oh-so simple of an idea.

The re-incarnation will at least
involve some bling!

Due in large part to my garage sale addiction, my children have significantly TOO many toys.  There should absolutely, positively never be a reason for them to find themselves with nothing to do.  But they are children - and it happens.  I honestly don't remember if The Activity Jar was my own creation or something that I borrowed or stole from someone else.  I don't recall learning of it from somewhere else but I don't consider myself an incredibly creative person so I'm doubtful that I came up with it on my own.  If I got it from you - please accept both my sincerest appreciation for sharing your brilliance and my equally sincere apologies for not giving you credit!

The Activity Jar is a ridiculously simple concept that B has completely bought into.  It consists of an empty Jif jar (I LOVE empty Jif Jars.  We go through a TON of them and consequently, they are all over the house being used for a multitude of different things) filled with small strips of paper with ideas written on them.

This was something that I thoroughly introduced to B.  I sat her down at the end of last summer one day while E was napping and explained to her that we were going to write down every idea that we could think of for fun things to do.  I got out a piece of notebook paper and started writing as she listed off ideas.  She came up with most of them herself but everytime she would get stumped, I would suggest something and that would set her off again.  The list ranges from very simple activities that only take a couple of minutes like "read a book" to more complex ideas like "go to the zoo".  I made sure that I was being a good Mama by including items that I really hate doing (but the girls love) like "Paint a Picture" and "Play Play-Doh".  

We put the Activity Jar to use anytime our regularly scheduled activity goes to hell or on Thursdays when we generally have nothing else set up.  B has also been known to randomly ask me at breakfast time, "Mama?  Can we use the Activity Jar to decide what to do today?"

I do believe that it is time to add some new activities to our jar and when I do it this time, I think I'll use two different colors.  I'll use one color for short, simple, at-home ideas (call them green ideas) and a different color for outings and adventures (call them blue ideas).  My thought is, that if we're looking for ideas to fill up a whole day, I can tell the girls "pick 3 green ideas or 1 blue idea" or if we're just looking for something to fill a couple of hours, we can go with "2 green ideas" or similar.  We will also need to decorate the jar a bit - lord knows it deserves a fancier home in exchange for all of its hard work!  

Here are some examples of activities in our jar:

Tiny slips of paper predict our day!

• Craft
• Play at Toy Store (the girls love to go play at Creative Kidstuff)
• Family Movie Time (this involves sleeping bags and popcorn and the whole 9-yards)
• Build a Fort
• Nature Walk
• Dance Party
• Playdate
• Read a Book
• Play-Doh
• Make Mail (we love pen pals!)
• Puzzle
• Go to the library
• Go to the park
• Balloon games
• Finger paint
• Cook/Bake
• Play with Water
• Computer Time

E chooses our activity for the day
"Play at Toy Store" 

Wanna help me out?  Leave me some more creative ideas to add to our jar!  What's going to go in YOUR activity jar?

Livin' the Dream...Part II: Since when does the Midwest have an ocean?

Be forewarned - this post is VERY long and probably not horribly interesting to anyone but me (and maybe Steph!)  :)  Don't worry - the next in this series will likely get into what everyone thinks they want to hear about!

While at Target Center, I had moved up the responsibility ladder very quickly.  I sort of got addicted to that upward movement...it was like changing jobs without changing jobs.  Or moving into a new apartment without having to actually move (which we also did every year at this point in our lives).  The change was fun and exciting.  And while Live Nation was part of Clear Channel Entertainment, I had aspired to what was logically the next step in my career evolution: Regional Director of Ticketing.

I don't recall for certain how I found out the job was available but I'm pretty sure that the heads-up came from my friend who happened to be the Regional HR Director for Clear Channel.  She had been one of those handful of people to leave Target Center with Clear Channel.  I eagerly built myself a hotmail account so that I could communicate incognito and sent in my resume.  I remember precisely the way that my stomach felt the moment I hit 'send' on that email.  It was a nauseating combination of excitement, fear, dread and a distinct feeling that I had just betrayed my home and my family.  I had been at Target Center for roughly 6 years.  The people there were absolutely my family.  We spent ridiculous hours together.  We worked together...we ate together...we drank together...we played together...there were few boundaries.  And I was absolutely dedicated to my box office team.

I had, essentially, two #2's in the box office.  One of them, I knew didn't want the responsibility that came with my massive office.  The other, I was really enjoying working with.  She had great ideas and was learning something new all the time but I wasn't sure she was quite ready for it.  I had worked really, really hard to build up the part time team.  We had authored a simply complicated incentive program for the part-time folks that had just begun to really take place.  When I started in the box office, one of the boasts of the last Director had been the fact that she had almost zero turnover in the part-timers.  Made me feel horrible when I started to lose some of them...until I realized that the staff was getting better and better every day and that maybe zero turnover isn't all it's cracked up to be.  We had a ragtag team of box office misfits that was truly gelling, was actively changing the focus from "selling tickets" to "creating amazing experiences" for our patrons.  I also had a college intern that I had been mentoring who was a bit of a mini-me and I was excited to see what she was going to shape into.

I felt simply sick.  I remember precisely what I wore when I snuck over to the Hilton to meet with the gentleman who would become my boss.  I remember precisely how awkward it felt to try to eat with someone I had just met while attempting to make a great impression.  And I remember exactly how badly I wanted to throw up when I walked into my boss' office to tell him that I would be leaving Target Center.  Leave I did.  And the world spun on without me.  The gal that I wasn't sure was ready...was.  And the mini-me?  She'll pop back up in the story too!

I moved out to the St Louis Park office into a tiny cube (did I ever mention that my Target Center office was massive?  Truly massive!  And so comfortable...)  but it was mostly ok because I was NEVER there!  Anyone who thinks that a career including a lot of travel is somehow glamorous...has never done a lot of work-related travel.  As Regional Director of Ticketing for Clear Channel Entertainment (which would quickly become Live Nation Entertainment as we spun off from the media conglommerate), I covered a 13 city region that included:  Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Chicago, Kansas City, Indianapolis, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Virginia Beach, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Detroit, Columbus, and St Louis.  Looking back, I wonder what my bosses thought that I should be doing in this role because I'm not entirely certain that we had the same end-goal in mind.  


I felt that in general, box office managers were underrated, underappreciated, misunderstood, understaffed...I still think so.  I was very lucky at Target Center (and I knew it - believe me!) that I was adequately staffed, adequately paid...I worked crazy hours under way more stress than one would think but I was given the tools that I requested to get the job done.  As I looked across the rest of the box office world (yes - I'm making some sweeping generalizations here, for sure!) I did not feel that the same could be said most anywhere else.  My goal was to be a resource for and a voice for the box office managers in my care.  All of our box office managers manged amphitheater box offices so summer was really "go time" for everyone.  I spent the first couple of months in my new role travelling to each of my cities to visit with the managers there and try to get a handle on what their needs were.  Their needs seemed pretty universal and pretty basic to me...and were essentially exactly what I expected them to be.  More time.  More money (to pay more staff...few were complaining of low salaries though they WERE mostly pretty low).  More education.  More appreciation/recognition.  I remember very, VERY clearly the drive from Virginia Beach, VA to Bristow, VA (aka. "Washington, DC").  That drive takes you a good distance right along the Atlantic Ocean and I remember the blue sky and the sun shining...and thinking to myself, "if I'm the Reg Director for the 'Midwest Region'....since when does the Midwest include an ocean?"  It was THIS market that gave me my enormous, unexpected challenge and showed me more clearly what my bosses expected of me!  


The box office manager in DC had managed that particular box office since the venue opened.  She was one of the few "lifers".  She had been doing this forever and I had a great deal of respect for the job that she did.  She really knew her stuff...knew the ins & outs of the Ticketmaster system better than anyone else I knew and she always, ALWAYS looked out for the customer first!  She was the one person that I was nervous to go visit because I knew that she had a lot of experience over me.  My visit with her went fine.  Turned out she had a competent #2 in place that she was thoroughly training to replace her so that she could retire soon.  We had a nice visit and I went home.  No worries there.  But then.  I got the call.  She had given her notice and was leaving.  Oh - and as a bonus?  Her #2 had quit two weeks before that and all of her day staff gave their notice the same day that she did.  And ... it was smack dab in the middle of the summer season.  


Ah!  I get it!  I'm an insurance policy!  I was on my way to the airport when the call came...I had a weekend bag packed to go to Chicago to Alpine Valley to observe and help out.  Could I go straight from there to DC?  No...not without coming home to repack unless they wanted to buy me a whole new wardrobe!  So I flew home from Chicago, repacked a much bigger bag and headed to DC.  Where it turns out, I would live for the next 3 months.  

Bristow, VA's amphitheater

When I arrived, the box office manager who had just given her notice, (I'll call her "S") showed me around and told me to make myself comfortable.  She was on her way into the city to work a theater show that we had there that day.   She'd be back the next day.  She had intended to work through her 2 weeks notice, help me get acclimated and give me a firm ground to stand on while I scrambled to find someone to replace her.  It was roughly 2 hours after she left for the day that one of the Operations guys knocked on the box office door.  He told me that he was changing the lock on the door because "S" had told him that the key that the cleaning crew used had been lost.  Seemed logical to me.  He went about his business and left me with a key for myself, one for "S" and a spare which I locked up in the vault.  The next day, I beat "S" into the office.  I was on the other side of the large space when I heard her key struggling in the lock.  I walked swiftly to the door with her copy of the key in my hand and a smile of greeting on my face.  By the time I got to the door, she was FURIOUS!  Her face was red, she was shaking and she sputtered something to the effect of "I can't believe it's come to this.  I can't believe they locked me out of my own box office." and then she spun on her heel and sped away.  I stood there with my hand stretched out in front of me holding the key to the office...I would pay money to see the look on my own face.  I was dumbfounded.  I truly, TRULY thought that she not only KNEW that they were changing the lock the day before but that she had ASKED them to do it.  I followed her and tried to explain but by the time I caught up with her, she literally had half of her possessions boxed up.  She would not listen to a word I said so I stumbled back to the box office.  She came in with her purse on her shoulder, handed me a pile of folders and turned to go.  I sheepishly asked her, "will you at least give me the combination to the safe?" to which she replied (and this is a direct quote, I remember this moment like it was yesterday), "F@*$K YOU!  Figure it out!"  OK then.  After the staff made change for customers out of their purses for roughly an hour, I was able to get in touch with her #2 who had left a week or so earlier and luckily, she hadn't changed the combo yet.  BUT - I was left with zero information...zero staff...it was a freaking NIGHTMARE!  I spent the next 3 months living between a Country Inn & Suites and a furnished corporate apartment working around the clock, making everything up as I went, piecing a staff back together...I truly have never been so stressed out and never worked so hard in my life.  

I include this photo because this was the appropriate view that I was always treated to as I drove into the amphitheater parking lot.  I was usually the first one there and there were ALWAYS countless vultures perched on fence posts drying their wings in the parking lot.  Always creeped me out!  

Remember that college student that I mentioned earlier that I had been mentoring as my intern?  She had graduated and was working an uninspiring job.  When I landed in DC and realized that I wasn't leaving anytime soon, she quit her job and moved into my cube back in Minnesota so that she could help me keep up with my actual full time job while I did the full time jobs of two people out in DC.  I remember distinctly the day that I was talking to her on the phone and she quietly asked me, "do you think I could do that job?"  Again - insert a picture of me with an utterly DUMBFOUNDED look on my face.  I believe I guffawed and responded, "uh - YEAH" and then instructed her to send me her resume so I could send it up the chain.  It wasn't much longer until I was helping her move into an apartment and her very own box office in Bristow, VA.  I now had one mentee (is that a word?) running a box office in Minneapolis and another running a box office in Bristow, VA - both were getting positive reviews and I have to admit, I was very proud.  


Anyway - that got to be a lengthier story than I intended...but it was a surprisingly important time in my career/life.  Surviving it, coming out the other side stronger than I started, is definitely something that I am proud of and point to as something that helped make me who I am today professionally.  




It wasn't long after this that I was back in Minneapolis and the decision was made to close down the Minneapolis office.  One talent buyer was moved to Chicago and everyone else was laid off.  It was a miserable experience.  I had no idea it was coming until moments before it happened and I was left behind to collect passwords and keycards from my friends & colleagues and escort them all out of the building.  It was unpleasant to say the least.  I was allowed to work from home for nearly a year which was also a big adjustment.  Then - in December of 2006, we found out that we were pregnant (yes - we had been trying and it was a very well thought out pregnancy). In January, I bought a flight and set up a meeting with my boss in Chicago to break the news to him.  I was due in mid August which would mean that I would be essentially out of commission for the entirety of the amphitheater season so I wanted to tell him in person.  He phoned me less than one week before I was scheduled to meet with him to let me know that the day had come...that I would have to move to Chicago if I wanted to keep my job.  There was a time, when that is precisely what Chris and I were working towards.  But with a baby on the way and my family all here in Minnesota...there was no way that was really an option.  So I turned down the offer of a move and began the process of losing my job.  And THAT is a story for another day...